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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Connor Joseph Kirk20/Male/United States Group :iconcoolcreepypastas: CoolCreepypastas
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Brian and Adrian of the Nudist Taints Maple Cup were chilling in their barracks watching gay hentai when suddenly the Gunny slams the door down with his gargantuan Penis. The Gunnys womb broom was the size of Trump tower times three and it was the veiniest creature ever laid eyes on. Suddenly his urethra opened and the head of George Clooney unveiled.

George Clooney: Good evening gentlemen....the rice cakes of Japan need your help...the weeaboos have been kidnapped by the nefarious Mr Hao. You, POG ASS Brian are the Guardian who fights for gayness and for XP in Overwatch you are Ni Hao Man... and You Mr Adrian are the charming gun toting donut molester that fights for Hentai rights all over the globe. You are Guardian Arty Farty. Now listen carefully..to transform you must shout out Ni Hao power!!!:

Brian and Adrian: NI HAO POWER NI HAO POWER NI HAO POOOOOOWEEEEER!!:

A white light flashes the room and Adrian emerged dressed in a MARPAT skirt with a M4 carbine loaded with jizz bullets. While Brian had his most trustful weapon, the Dildo rocket launcher! Armed with explosive dildos with smiley faces on the tips. Brian was nearly naked but with a Tight speedo gripping his secondary weapon.

The Cockasaurus Rex!! Brian and Adrian squatted down and flew out the window using their farting rainbow thrusters placed between their asscheeks. As they took flight they flew to the nearest Manga shop and found no other than the sinister Mr Hao!!! The absolute madman was shitting in the cash register while ticking his shaft against a pinecone.

Brian: Hold it right there you faggot!
Mr Hao: -Autistic screeching in confusion-
Brian and Adrian: we are the Flamboyant Marins that fight for Crayons and for Hentai we are Ni Hao man and Arty Farty! In the name of the Green Weenie we'll punish you!

Mr Hao threw a 5 foot long shit at Arty, but he was quick to dodge the feces but was hit with a bottle of cum. Arty shrieked like a Anime school girl getting her skirt lifted he fell to the floor wounded.

Brian: Arty! NO!!
Brian ripped his speedo off revealing his Bubblegum schlong he took aim and fired several cheetos at Mr Hao three of his rounds hit Mr Hao in the chest making him fall down unconscious. Arty stood over Mr Hao and squatted down and Farted into his nose. Mr Hao started to choke on the gas before dying he cummed.

Brian: Good job Arty! Let's go home!
Arty: Rah Yut Crayons!
Civilian: W-Who are you?!
Brian and Adrian farted a tree at the civilian knocking the faggot off his feet....They then took flight back to the barracks.

Epilogue: Brian sleeping naked on his rack slept for 36 hours cause his alarm didn't wake him up. He awoke and rose from the bed and sat on the computer to play Overwatch. Adrian kicked down the door wearing his Marpats like the badass Marin he is in full battle rattle. By his side was the Lord and Savior Mattis himself naked.

Mattis: Arty....Ni Hao we have a mission for you.

O V E R D R A M A T I C C U T T O B L A C K S C R E E N.
North: cums in British
Wubcake: Trumpet sound
Connor: Farts in Japanese
Wubcake: Squawk
North Bridge: Viagra

The End
Wubcake the absolute madman was rubbing French fries on her Body pillows soft nipples "oh pillow chan, if only you were real just for me to feel your feathery goodness." And suddenly like it was some pure coincidence the pillow transformed into North Bridge himself. "Fear not my queen for I shall pleasure you with my sticky peanut butter succulence." The once former body pillow but now fully nude North stood before his queen a giant piece of Ham in his right hand.

North squatted down and prepared the ancient mating ritual. He started to beat his chest with the ham and make whale sounds while dry humping the air. It was magical...Wubcake couldn't handle this exquisite piece of heaven exposing itself before her very eyes....she screeched the in holy screech of the clan of a thousand sirens and her skin turned to a scaly pink. Her legs turned into a mermaid esque tail and her hair become long and luscious, her eyes glowed blood red, her voice nearly demonic.

"I don't like sand...it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere!" She said in a quiet angry tone. "Fear not my queen my loyal servant shall dispose of this sand." North said gently as he caresses Wubcakes fruit loops with his dollar menu burger.

Norths loyal servant Finish Line the bringer of Noodles and cum whipped out his handy dandy notebook and drew a noodle vacuum and sucked all the sand out of the Earth and turned it into soft noodles for his consumption.

The mating ritual was complete as Harambe gave the two his blessing to have some hardcore feline sexual activity. coincidentally there were two cats having sex next to their bedroom window. North shoved his tongue down Wubcakes throats and Wubcake held Norths left buttock in a tight death grip. Outside of the room they were in, loud grunting that almost sounds like a constipated bear could be heard.

Using sand as lubricant he inserted the donuts around her fifth point of contact. Once inside he stole her Death Star plans and made haste with his withdrawal. "Oh body pillow Chan tell me your name!" She moaned, North leaned to her ear and whispered "omelette du Fromage" .

Wubcake screeched with ecstasy as she flooded the room with blue substance, but it was not over yet. North started shooting Arby's curly fries out of his ears and dunked his crumpets into the moist tea cup ready for round two. He slammed his burrito into the nachos and started to sprinkle his Queso Into the chili bowl.

They were interrupted by the sound of the door being shook violently. The door flung open and before their very eyes was the Man himself Markiplier, erection throbbing his hairy chest glistened in the young moon light vengeance written across his face. "I shall have my revenge for what you have done to my village monster!" He pointed his one eyed snake to North.

North hissed like an Alligator at the intruder "very well then have it your way...samurai!" He revealed his mansaber and assumed his traditional anime cliche style fighting stance. Markipkier made contact first but luckily for North his loyal son was on his way. He knew he could count on him, markiplier fought hard and valiantly but his schlong was no match for North. Suddenly Norths Son Konnor Coseph Jerk busted through the vaginal walls of lady liberty and his glistening white Stormtrooper armor filled with the aroma of pussy juice stank the night sky! Raising his trusty E-11 he put a couple of Blaster bolts into Markipliers butt finishing off the manly menace for good.

"I am proud of you son....now return to your sanctum and await once again for my calling." Konnor nodded in acknowledgement and with his ass blaster cannon took flight until he was nothing but a twinkle in the dark sky. North put his gaze to his queen now sprawled on the floor looking up to her king covered in grease of McDonald's burgers and Ketchup. "And now my dear...we shall finish what we started!" He laid himself upon her and embraced her with a bag of gummy bears.

AND THEN I SAW HER FACE!!!!!

The End
Aria: I don't like sand.....it's coarse, and rough and irritating....and it gets everywhere.
Brian and Adrian of the Nudist Taints Maple Cup were chilling in their barracks watching gay hentai when suddenly the Gunny slams the door down with his gargantuan Penis. The Gunnys womb broom was the size of Trump tower times three and it was the veiniest creature ever laid eyes on. Suddenly his urethra opened and the head of George Clooney unveiled.

George Clooney: Good evening gentlemen....the rice cakes of Japan need your help...the weeaboos have been kidnapped by the nefarious Mr Hao. You, POG ASS Brian are the Guardian who fights for gayness and for XP in Overwatch you are Ni Hao Man... and You Mr Adrian are the charming gun toting donut molester that fights for Hentai rights all over the globe. You are Guardian Arty Farty. Now listen carefully..to transform you must shout out Ni Hao power!!!:

Brian and Adrian: NI HAO POWER NI HAO POWER NI HAO POOOOOOWEEEEER!!:

A white light flashes the room and Adrian emerged dressed in a MARPAT skirt with a M4 carbine loaded with jizz bullets. While Brian had his most trustful weapon, the Dildo rocket launcher! Armed with explosive dildos with smiley faces on the tips. Brian was nearly naked but with a Tight speedo gripping his secondary weapon.

The Cockasaurus Rex!! Brian and Adrian squatted down and flew out the window using their farting rainbow thrusters placed between their asscheeks. As they took flight they flew to the nearest Manga shop and found no other than the sinister Mr Hao!!! The absolute madman was shitting in the cash register while ticking his shaft against a pinecone.

Brian: Hold it right there you faggot!
Mr Hao: -Autistic screeching in confusion-
Brian and Adrian: we are the Flamboyant Marins that fight for Crayons and for Hentai we are Ni Hao man and Arty Farty! In the name of the Green Weenie we'll punish you!

Mr Hao threw a 5 foot long shit at Arty, but he was quick to dodge the feces but was hit with a bottle of cum. Arty shrieked like a Anime school girl getting her skirt lifted he fell to the floor wounded.

Brian: Arty! NO!!
Brian ripped his speedo off revealing his Bubblegum schlong he took aim and fired several cheetos at Mr Hao three of his rounds hit Mr Hao in the chest making him fall down unconscious. Arty stood over Mr Hao and squatted down and Farted into his nose. Mr Hao started to choke on the gas before dying he cummed.

Brian: Good job Arty! Let's go home!
Arty: Rah Yut Crayons!
Civilian: W-Who are you?!
Brian and Adrian farted a tree at the civilian knocking the faggot off his feet....They then took flight back to the barracks.

Epilogue: Brian sleeping naked on his rack slept for 36 hours cause his alarm didn't wake him up. He awoke and rose from the bed and sat on the computer to play Overwatch. Adrian kicked down the door wearing his Marpats like the badass Marin he is in full battle rattle. By his side was the Lord and Savior Mattis himself naked.

Mattis: Arty....Ni Hao we have a mission for you.

O V E R D R A M A T I C C U T T O B L A C K S C R E E N.

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ARMYTR00PER
Connor Joseph Kirk
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
.




Dear Madam,

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts, that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.

I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours, to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom. Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,

Abraham Lincoln.
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:iconmahou-kitsune:
Mahou-Kitsune Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
It;s demon fox'1 moved accounts
Reply
:iconarmytr00per:
ARMYTR00PER Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ah ok! Thanks for the heads up!
Reply
:iconcreativecomets:
CreativeComets Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You deserve a watch,good sir.
Reply
:iconarmytr00per:
ARMYTR00PER Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aaaw thank you <3
Reply
:iconpseudopandemonium:
Pseudopandemonium Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hi O_o
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:iconarmytr00per:
ARMYTR00PER Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi there!
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:iconpseudopandemonium:
Pseudopandemonium Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Whats up
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:iconarmytr00per:
ARMYTR00PER Featured By Owner May 24, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not much how bout you
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontarascha:
Tarascha Featured By Owner May 5, 2016
Here you are with those batshit crazy stories...time for a reading spree~
Reply
:iconarmytr00per:
ARMYTR00PER Featured By Owner May 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are in for some fun lol
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